On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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