He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
