This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm just crazy horny about you
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
