This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
