So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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