I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i love accidental penises.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
