ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
