guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
