Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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