I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
