Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
