I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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