Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
