You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize