Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
