Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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