he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Randomize