yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
