Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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