found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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