Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
