you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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