So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We don't watch enough power rangers
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
