Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
