I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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