i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
