I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
