i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
