you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We are two peas in an std pod
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
