Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
