Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
