yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
