the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
