I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
