Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
