just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
