In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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