turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
