So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize