screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
