Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize