You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize