I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
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