I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
pray to the hookup gods
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
