are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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