What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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