Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
smell my finger.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
