Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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