And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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