His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
