oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
