Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
