Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
