drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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