I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
