I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
